WOW

This is a story from the newspaper in Knox City that Granny cut out and mailed to me when I was in college. It was a riot then and it is a riot now. All credit goes to David Epley (F'n moron alcoholic that he was/is). Here goes. I will copy it exactly. Capitolization, punctuaction, spacing, grammar and all.

It has been a quiet dry week. Thank goodness. We sure did need that and alot more of it. Well, we had a big gold rush out here. Me and Whimpy was down on Butches place on the banks of the Brazos. Looking at red Bluff. We was looking through the rifle scope and we spotted a hole that we had never seen before. So a couple of weekends ago we all went down and found it with Bills spoting scope. And last week me and Frankie, Bill,Jack, Danny, Matt, Doyle, Judy went to check it out. Everybody waded the river except me, Jack, Doyle, & Judy. It must have been cold because they sure hollered when they got in. I told them it was kneecap deep but it was hip deep. But they finally made it to the hole with the help of walkie-talkies. All that they found was was writing on the wall. It said R. Speck, R. Hollingsworth, and there was a gold Coor's can dated 1974. so at least they seen some gold. And so much for the gold rush.

Estell is wanting to ride a space shuttle to get away from here. So i guess i will call Nasa and try to get her a ticket.

We caught a big 300 pound hog down on the river.

And to politics. I am glad Mrs. Hallaburton knows how roads are suppose to be like. They haven't been building roads. The have been building water ways for the last 12 years. So if i get elected you can't fix in one year what it took 12 to ruin. It is kind of like the president. I would vote for a blue ape if he was a democrat. I guess i lost some votes there but thats the way it is.

Oh yeah, Frankie has her a pop bellyed pig. So now I have to live with 2 dogs and a hog and Frankie and they are all house broke.

And i hope to have good news for the farmers next week. If it all works out we could raise two crops. I will tell you about that next week.

And i seen Teddie Sue and her eyes are still blue and prettier than ever. Hoot Holmes had a new edition, a boy it sure is cute. And Claude Baker has a new grandaughter but i haven't seen it yet. But sure it is cute. This is a picture of Hoots baby scratching his head wondering if his Dad is going to get a peanut contract this year.

Hope something exciting happenes next weel

See ya next week.

David.

P.S. There was no picture in the paper of Hoot's baby.

Jim